Shapes – Season 1, Ep 19

MULDER: Well, they told me that even though my deodorant’s made for a woman, it’s strong enough for a man.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the only worthwhile line in this episode.

Let’s just get this over with.

Season 1, Episode 19: “Shapes”


The hardest episodes for me to review are the ones I honestly don’t have much to say about. Two more episodes will commit this crime before Season 1 ends. “Shapes” is the first of these two.

Maybe it’s because of popular culture nowadays I’m absolutely sick of vampires and werewolves, but the fact remains with the exception of Season 5’s “Bad Blood,” there’s pretty much no X-Files episode having to do with these creatures that is good. Season 2’s “3” is a disgusting piece of vomit and possibly the worst episode of the entire series, and Season 6’s “Alpha” is no piece of art, either.

Like “Space,” though, “Shapes” doesn’t really venture into insultingly bad territory, although it does wobble between grossly misrepresenting Native American culture and portraying it okay. “Shapes” is mostly just boring. It isn’t that scary, and the only suspenseful scene is when Scully is being attacked by a ridiculous-looking furry animal. Really, I’m scratching my head trying to come up with things to say about this one. The only part of the episode I remember well (besides the deodorant line, of course) is when Gwen Goodensnake says this:

And I hate suits who are always here when they need something from us, but when we need help, they’re nowhere to be found.

Very well put. And sadly, very true.

And that’s all I got. I do apologize.


Final Score


Final score for “Shapes” is 2/10…I guess.

Notable Nuggets

  • I already mentioned the only one. The deodorant line. It isn’t even that funny, honestly. But compared to the rest of the episode, it sticks out.


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