All Souls – Season 5, Ep 17

SCULLY: (on phone) There’s evidence of a progressive degenerative bone disease and, uh, I know you’re going to think that I’m crazy … but I swear I found evidence of something winglike.

MULDER: (on phone) Well, then, maybe she flew here, Scully.

That’s tasteful, Mulder. Just downright classy of you. Making jokes about dead teenage girls. Because that’s totally something Mulder would do, given the loss of his one and only sister.

 

 

Season 5, Episode 17: “All Souls”

Hey. Have you ever wondered what would happen if Season 3’s “Revelations” and Season 5’s “Emily” gave birth to an episode?

No. Of course you haven’t. Nobody wants to see that. But they did it. And here we are.

This episode is just…gahhhh. I mean, haven’t we had enough of this shit? Can we please just sweep away the Emily storyline and be done with it? This is just another excuse to see Scully suffer for another forty-five minutes, and it’s completely pointless. I suppose you could argue that “Christmas Carol” and “Emily” weren’t totally pointless because of their (albeit flimsy) connection to the mythology, but this? This is a standalone. Emily’s dead. That storyline was awful. Please can we be done with this?

I don’t mean to churn out another negative review in a mostly fantastic season of The X-Files. But if I’m being honest, I hate this episode. Though it may not be as bad technically, in some ways this episode bothers me even more than the “Emily” duo because it reintroduces Intolerant Mulder Jerk, which has unfortunately become a bit of a trope (and a majorly shitty one at that).  It also attempts to be another episode that explores Scully’s religion. But unlike “Revelations,” which actually explores the nature of Scully’s belief when faced with religious extremism, in “All Souls” Scully’s beliefs aren’t so much explored as they are chucked at her face in the most horrendous of ways. Do you find comfort in God, Scully? Here’s a religiously symbolic dead girl to remind you of your own dead daughter!

I understand that many religious people, especially Catholics, stay grounded to their religion even in the midst of some of the church’s somewhat harsh, traditionalist, and yes, extreme aspects, but when we’re given misery after misery in every single one of these religious episodes, it’s hard to see what solace, if any, Scully finds in her faith. I don’t think that Scully’s faith has even once shown any meaning to her apart from when her life gets really, really difficult. And yes, I know that’s part of the point; that when her science can’t give her the answers (which usually means she’s facing a crisis) Scully turns to her religion. I get it.

But in “All Souls” this relationship feels incredibly forced. By the end (which is such a shameless, pitiful attempt to redo the ending from “Revelations” it gives me a headache from excessive eye-rolling), Scully reaches the conclusion that – well, what? That faith is accepting loss? It may be true but it’s freaking depressing! Can’t Scully’s religion make her happy?

“But Meghan,” I hear the whiny little protest voices say, ” ‘Revelations’ wasn’t happy for Scully either. And wasn’t that a religious episode you actually liked?”

Sigh. I do like “Revelations” a lot, and I have to sheepishly admit that my review for that episode is one of my favorites. So the comparison is unavoidable, it seems. Let’s stack up these endings next to one another.

“All Souls”

PRIEST: You believed you were releasing her soul to Heaven.

SCULLY: I felt sure of it.

PRIEST: But you still can’t reconcile this belief with the physical fact of her death?

SCULLY: No. I thought I could, Father, but I can’t.

PRIEST: Do you believe there is a life after this one?

SCULLY: Yes.

PRIEST: Are you sure?

(SCULLY tries to answer, but cannot.)

PRIEST: Has it occurred to you that maybe this, too, is part of what you were meant to understand?

SCULLY: You mean, accepting my loss?

PRIEST: Can you accept it?

SCULLY: Maybe that’s what faith is.

“Revelations”

PRIEST: Maybe they weren’t meant for him to see. Maybe they were only meant for you.

SCULLY: Is that possible?

PRIEST: With the Lord, anything is possible. Perhaps you saw these things because you needed to.

SCULLY: To find my way back?

PRIEST: Sometimes we must come full circle to find the truth. (Scully looks up at the priest) Why does that surprise you?

SCULLY: Mostly, it just makes me afraid.

PRIEST: Afraid?

SCULLY: Afraid that God is speaking … but that no one’s listening.

Apart from being much better written, look at how Scully reacts to the priest in “Revelations.” She listens and comes to a conclusion about God and her faith based on what she’s seen and experienced in the episode. The “full circle to find the truth,” which is threaded throughout the episode, beautifully encompasses Scully’s struggle to understand her own faith. I can’t see any conclusion reached in “All Souls,” apart from that really, really sad things happen and faith is going to Confessional and attending Mass even though you don’t understand why God would let such a tragedy occur. “Revelations” is “God works in mysterious ways, but keep trying and maybe you’ll understand His intentions if you really listen.” “All Souls” is “God works in mysterious and fucked up ways, and faith provides no comfort for me, even though I will continue to be virtuous and faithful.” I can’t get behind that. Do I want or even need a solid, neatly wrapped conclusion? Of course not. “Revelations” didn’t have a cherry on top of its ending, either. But nothing in “All Souls” feels connected. Nothing makes me interested in these questions Scully’s found herself asking, fascinating though they may be. I just want the whole damn miserable thing to be over.

I’ve rambled too much already, so to sum up I’ll just snag a quote from Musings of an X-Phile’s review of this episode.

“I realize that Scully’s lovely when she’s somber but would it have been possible to have an episode centered around her faith that left her cheerful rather than crying in a confessional booth?”

I have nothing to add. Let’s be done with this.

---

Final Score

Final score for “All Souls” is 4/10. With this score I’m trying to be as fair as I can possibly be. I don’t like it, but don’t think I haven’t considered the possibility that this episode just wasn’t made for me. I don’t understand its purpose in the show but I realize there are many that find it meaningful, and unlike some of the other “objectively” terrible episodes – “3,” for instance – I don’t think you’re a nutball if you like this one. But it gets a massive thumbs down from me.

---

Notable Nuggets (and Nitpicks)

• Mulder wears sunglasses, and I’m always down for that.
• Gillian Anderson is of course very good in this episode and looks particularly lovely.
• Mulder feels very out of place in this episode, which is weird for me to say. I almost wanted him to go away, and that’s criminal.

 

Mind’s Eye – Season 5, Ep 16

MULDER: You go ahead. I want – I want to – I want to investigate something.

Gee, it’s like he’s in the FBI or something. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 

Season 5, Episode 16: “Mind’s Eye”

“Mind’s Eye” bears a lot of similarities to an earlier episode, Season 3’s “Oubliette.” If you recall, “Oubliette” was about a young woman Mulder takes pity on who can see into the mind and experiences of another person, and also rejects the help and support of those around her because she’s a tough little cookie, until the end where she sacrifices herself to save the lives of others because she’s a good person despite her traumatic life, after all. You also might recall that “Oubliette” is a deeply unpleasant piece of television that I have no wish to revisit. So thanks for that, Season 5.

Okay, I’m being a little unfair. “Mind’s Eye” is a better watch than “Oubliette,” I suppose because Marty at least doesn’t seem completely miserable the whole time. No, Marty has the very singular characteristic of being…well, an asshole. Charming.

Do I sound spiteful? I don’t really mean it. Truth be told, “Mind’s Eye” isn’t a terrible episode, it’s just not a very good one. It lacks much-needed depth and really did have the potential to be better than it is. The main problem is Marty. Lili Taylor is a great actress and she does a good job here, but she doesn’t have much to work with. The episode’s writer, Tim Minear, said this about his idea for the character: “I wanted to make Marty a bitch, because the fact is that disability doesn’t necessarily ennoble a person.”

Well…that’s true, and I certainly don’t think that every disabled character has to be an angel, but they don’t have to be completely unlikable, either. That just perpetuates the other side of the coin, that disabled people are going to be cranky and miserable because of their disabilities. Fun fact: not all disabled people are miserable. Blind people have to learn other ways to function by being blind, but they can still live happy lives. That’s not to say there aren’t challenges, to be sure, but it isn’t this sort of “I’m blind and adjusted but cranky because I’m blind in spite of being adjusted” attitude that Marty has.

What would have been more interesting is if the episode had explored Marty’s blindness and ability more, especially what the latter means in relation to the former. Maybe an amendment such as this would have worked better: Say Marty’s father wasn’t always a murdering criminal but instead abandoned Marty after her mom died giving birth to her, and was slowly, over the course of 30 years, driven to a life of crime and murder. But Marty, during those 30 years, has seen glimpses of the world through her father’s eyes, instead of the inside of a jail cell, like the actual episode. They actually touch on this a little at the end, when Marty talks about seeing the ocean. But this is one beautiful vision of the world that Marty has. The rest is just the inside of a jail cell, and since she goes to jail at the end anyway I fail to see the sacrifice she made by killing her father. If Marty’s father had been able to let her see the rest of the world – trees, cities, people, animals, the night sky, etc. – then Marty would have to really grapple with her decision to take out her father at the end. Should she sacrifice her only gateway into what the world looks like, or prevent her father from killing more people? Her resulting sacrifice would have been a lot more powerful, as she’d no longer have access to the world she once had. She’d have to learn how to live like most blind people do – not in angelic nobility or misery, but just…living.

This episode made me think about how to correctly write a disabled character, and fortunately I have just the example: Toph from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Now, Toph is a frequently grouchy, cranky, spunky girl who is completely blind, but she has learned how to live fully through her earthbending abilities, which are not hindered by her blindness, but amplified because of it. Toph’s definitely no angel, but she’s not miserable. She has taken her blindness and made it into a strength instead of an obstacle to overcome. Marty? Marty is just someone to feel bad for, despite how many times she tries to act like everyone around her shouldn’t, or how many times the episode tries to convince you that she’s such a bitch she doesn’t need sympathy.

Besides, tell me this episode wouldn’t be vastly improved if Toph called Mulder “twinkle toes.” Now I’d pay to watch that.

---

Final Score

Final score for “Mind’s Eye” is 5/10. While we do have a good performance from Lili Taylor and a premise that is far from unsalvageable, the script just isn’t up to the job.

---

Notable Nuggets (and Nitpicks)

• Although I don’t believe that this was the character’s, the actor’s, or the writer’s intention, Mulder is a bit rude in this one. Even though he does his usual Sympathy for the Damsel shtick, his attitude towards Marty, at least at the beginning, is “Pssshhh, who you tryin’ to fool, woman? You’re blind as a bat so we know you couldn’t possibly have been the killer.” He’s right, of course, but it still feels condescending.
• Scully is in this episode somewhere, I think.
• Ok I know Marty’s a girl in this but couldn’t she have once, just once, said “Whoa. This is heavy”???!

 

Travelers – Season 5, Ep 15

BAHNSEN: Yes, unsolved cases. I file them under “x.” (Goes to file cabinet..)

DALES: Why don’t you file them under “u” for “unsolved”?

BAHNSEN: That’s what I did until I ran out of room. Plenty of room in the “X”s.

This is ridiculous but somehow believable, don’t you think?

 

 

Season 5, Episode 15: “Travelers”

Let’s get one thing cleared up before we start: even though this show is focused on Mulder and Scully, the absence of one of the agents in an episode does not automatically make the episode useless or unwatchable. In other words, “There’s no Scully in it” is not a good enough reason to skip. In the words of Gandalf, you shall not pass.

Disgusting, horrible spider thing emerging from a guy’s mouth to devour people? That’s a good reason.

Everyone has things they find gross. For some, it’s the exploding pustules from “F. Emasculata,” for others, it’s the giant flukeworm in “The Host.” Everyone has that one episode that makes their stomach churn and their skin crawl. This is mine.

Oh, boy, is it mine.

And I know what you’re going to say. I’ve heard all the things. Yes, I’m aware that the spider thing looks like a gooey leather bag with legs. I don’t care. I still can’t watch any of those spider scenes without cringing and feeling a little bit sick. I can’t stomach this episode any more than a lactose intolerant person can stomach milk. I’m allergic to it, you might say.

It might also be the idea of the spider thing that scares me so much. If I could somehow take the fear away and just look at the effects, I probably wouldn’t be frightened at all. But the effects plant the idea of a giant parasitic spider that emerges from a person’s mouth to devour people in my brain, and my brain responds with a resounding “Oh hell no.” If I didn’t have to write this review, there’s a good chance I never would have watched this episode again.

To be honest, before rewatching it I didn’t remember much beyond the spider thing. Oh, I remembered Mulder’s bad haircut and mysterious ring, and Arthur Dales, but other than that, nothing. And I wish I could tell you that I’ve now permanently stored the rest of the episode into my memory banks, but I’m really not sure it made it all in there. By the time the next review comes, I will likely have forgotten most of “Travelers” again, and not the parts I’d like to forget the most. So, before we say goodbye to this episode forever, let’s give it a proper look.

The entire existence of this episode is a bit awkward. It’s placed after “The Red and the Black” as if to give the audience a break from the big emotional journey, which is nice, but perhaps a tad bit unnecessary. It is slightly interesting, I suppose, to see the origins of the X-Files, but so little time is spent on them that I have to wonder if this episode just wasn’t an excuse to do a period piece about the Red Scare. Which, I’d like to say, I’m not opposed to in principle, not at all. I like a good historical piece as much as anyone, and who doesn’t like seeing FBI agents in suspenders and fedoras? However, apart from the fact that the country was openly paranoid about communists, I don’t feel like this episode takes advantage of the time period enough. What do the characters discover at the end? The government is lyiiiing. Gee, what a revelation.

It’s set in the 195os, which we know because the characters use words like “commies” and men in fedoras brood in bars and smoke a lot. If I’d wanted to watch a Humphrey Bogart movie The Maltese Falcon would be playing right now (and yes I know that film is set in the 1940s, shut up).

Arthur Dales isn’t a bad character, but he’s not really given enough to work with. He doesn’t have a lot of agency in this story, and they really could have plopped anybody with a reasonably secure moral compass in his place. A young Bill Mulder makes an appearance, which unfortunately doesn’t reveal much we didn’t already know: he worked for the State Department, and although he’s involved in shady activities Bill’s not all bad.

I think maybe the episode could have benefitted had it been a little more humorous or tongue-in-cheek, sort of like an X-Files version of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I’m not saying I needed Toon Town or anything, but maybe some of that film-noir humor, a jazzy soundtrack, more interesting characters.

And none of those horrible spider things. Yeesh.

---

 

Final Score

Final score for “Travelers” is 6/10. While not awful or anything, I struggle to see what it really offers. Besides nightmares for days.

---

Notable Nuggets

• If I’m to be honest – and I have no intention of ever being otherwise – there is probably no fandom dispute I care less about than the supposed wedding ring. And that’s all I have to say about that.
• The guy they got to play Hoover actually really looks like him.
• The women in the office knew about the X-Files first – nice little touch.
• Why does this show always make cats a sign of bad news? 😦

Kill Switch – Season 5, Ep 11

SCULLY: Why don’t you let us ask the questions.

ESTHER: Why don’t you bite me.

I mean, I’ve heard of worse ideas.

(Booing from the crowd)

Oh, come on! I’m allowed to be gross every once in a while.

But seriously, why aren’t there more Scully/Esther shippers out there?

 

 

Season 5, Episode 11: “Kill Switch”

I come from a long line of computer geeks, so I love a good Artificial Intelligence story. The trouble is, those are sometimes hard to pull off. In fact, the last real attempt The X-Files made at this subject was the less-than-successful “Ghost in the Machine,” an episode that probably doesn’t deserve the 3/10 I originally gave it but is still not very good nonetheless. The X-Files is going to have to get really creative if it wants to pull this subject matter off in an entertaining way.

Well, you know what they say. Second time’s the charm.

Man, I love this episode. It’s a damn near perfect piece of television, if you ask me. Not necessarily because it’s particularly deep, insightful, or even impactful, but on an entertainment level it’s a marvel. Every moment captivates you, nothing is boring, and when you watch it you find yourself loving the world, your family, your job, and especially The X-Files. 

As a reviewer, it’s irritating when I can’t come up with good words to describe what makes something so good, but if we take a step back from the world of analysis for a moment, that’s really a good thing, don’t you think? Good art should take the words right out of your mouth. And for this episode, it’s hard for me to come up with anything else other than, “Just go watch it.”

But, I’m committed to full reviews so I promise I’ll go into more detail than that. Just know, however, that you can stop reading the review right here and go watch the episode. I won’t be sad if you do.

“Kill Switch” has three elements that for me really make this episode great: the Lone Gunmen, the evil computer, and the Battle of the Females.

Gee, I’m really sounding like that old guy who fixes your cable today. What I mean is, the women in this episode clearly dominate, because they’re smart, badass, and funny. Scully and Esther. They’re pretty fantastic. (Go search your fanfic archives later, kids.)

Esther, especially, I’ve always loved as a character. It’s always nice to see a character who clearly doesn’t give two craps about what anybody thinks. Esther’s a female computer genius who dresses up like a goth raccoon and could still kick your ass. In handcuffs. But she’s also human, too. She has a breaking point, like the scene where she starts crying with Scully in the car.

Now, don’t get me wrong. This episode is still very testosterone-driven, but unlike certain upcoming Season 7 episodes that I shall decline to name, the women in this episode, Scully included, are allowed to be women and work alongside their male counterparts, rather than working against them to “strike back as women.” What I mean is, Esther is a female in a generally male-dominated field, and no one bats an eye. The Lone Gunmen, whose presence in this episode is akin to the warm feelings of Christmas Day, acknowledge Esther first for her computer skills. Well, and then Frohike calls her hot. But that’s Frohike, right? He calls everyone hot.

Oh, and what about Mulder’s little AI fever dream? Surely that’s a scene dripping with male fantasy? Not really, no. Sure, Mulder’s visited by the hot nurses, but come ON, his arms are cut off and he’s completely, totally, pitifully helpless. And in the end, who comes to save the day, both in the fantasy and in real life? Scully.

The computer is threatening, too. I mean, this thing can kill you with – well, I think Scully put it best:

Scully, you funny girl.

We all love explosions. Boys and girls love explosions. I love explosions. I love this episode.

In fact, I think I’m going to go watch it again. I’ll see y’all next time.

---

Final Score

Final score for “Kill Switch” is 10/10. Heavenly shades of AWESOME are falling.

---

Notable Nuggets

• Like “Wonderful, Wonderful,” I start snickering every time I hear “Twilight Time,” puzzling those around me.
• Scully’s facial expressions in this episode are enough to give me life for weeks.
• Scully + Kung Fu = HOT. I mean, badass. Oh, screw it, it’s hot.
• Do all trailers have incredibly convenient escape holes in the floor?
• I personally LOVE it when Scully rescues Mulder. While running away from an explosion. It’s happened before, in “Terma.” Thanks, Rob Bowman.

Chinga – Season 5, Ep 10

SCULLY: (on phone) Mulder, I’m on vacation. The weather is clear. I’m looking forward to hitting the road and breathing in some of this fine New England air.

MULDER: (on phone) You didn’t rent a convertible, did you?

Well, no one can say he doesn’t know her.

 

 

Season 5, Episode 10: “Chinga”

Apart from the Mulder/Scully phone conversations, I actually don’t watch “Chinga” very often. I think it’s because I’m just a tad bored by it. I don’t particularly find dolls scary and I’m not a Stephen King fan, so in a lot of ways this episode just isn’t made for me.

Still, on this most recent rewatch, I noticed several things that really impressed me. First of all, Kim Manners deserves every award there ever was for this episode. The direction is absolutely amazing. There’s more character and flavor in the camerawork than there is in the script, and everything from the lighting to the sets is simply gorgeous. R.I.P. Kim, you limitless directorial talent.

The Mulder/Scully phone conversations are hilarious and wonderful and deserve to be watched over and over again. The banter is top notch and I absolutely love how Mulder’s so bored without Scully there. Conversely, Scully can’t seem to get away from excitement, running into an X-File even while on vacation. Poor girl.

Still, it’s David Duchovny’s fidgety Mulder that really steals the show for me. My absolute favorite scene of the entire episode is when he drinks from an expired mug of orange juice while talking to Scully on the phone. It’s priceless. And so very Mulder.

The rest of the episode, however…meh. Well, mostly.

Like I said, I don’t really find dolls scary. And the little girl, Polly, comes across as more annoying than creepy. The mother, Melissa, doesn’t really do anything other than lapse into hysterics the whole time. Despite Stephen King’s obsession with Maine, the setting isn’t creepy either.

But, there’s one scene that really did impress me. And now I have to warn you: get ready for overanalyzing 101. It’s the final showdown, where the doll is making Melissa hit herself in the face with the hammer. The whole time, we see Polly, the little girl, holding the doll and looking conflicted for the first time in the entire episode. You see, Polly is just a child, but she’s a very unlikable, bratty child that doesn’t think about anyone but herself. If you’ll allow me, I’d like to suggest that the doll is a sort of evil manifestation of Polly’s impulsive, childlike selfishness. Every time something happens that Polly doesn’t like, the doll reacts. I’m not saying the doll killing people is necessarily Polly’s fault – she’s just a kid, after all – but the doll seems to feed off whatever Polly is feeling at the moment. The entire episode, she’s been screaming at her mother for things, demanding that people give her free food, and generally being a whiny, annoying nuisance that I, quite frankly, wanted to see thrown overboard. However, as the doll begins to kill the mother, we see Polly for the first time look at her mother with actual concern and compassion. After Scully throws the doll into the microwave, Polly slowly walks towards her mother. She doesn’t rush into her mother’s arms, because she’s not that kind of child. But she does seem to realize for the first time how her actions have affected people. When she steps toward her mother, maybe she’s making the first step towards empathy and understanding. It’s actually a really touching moment.

But, who am I kidding. Nobody really cares about that when we’ve got Scully in the bath, pencils in the ceiling, and Mulder in those shorts.

Excuse me while I go rewatch the phone scenes.

---

Final Score

Final score for “Chinga” is 8/10. While I can’t call it one of my personal favorites, you gotta love that banter. And, um, Polly’s redemption. Also, the banter.

---

 

Notable Nuggets

• The book Scully’s reading is called Affirmations for Women who Do Too Much.
• For those that care about this sort of thing, Scully was listening to Hummel’s Piano Concerto No. 3 in B minor Op 89. You can listen to it too here.
• Those shorty short shorts, though.
• Is anyone else distracted by the fact that Melissa looks a lot like Samantha Mulder?

Zero Sum – Season 4, Ep 21

MISSY: We worked it out so that our vacations overlapped. We were going to Palm Beach. Both of us were trying to lose weight so we could buy new bathing suits.

My deepest sympathies, but this line is in contention for the most useless line of dialogue in an episode so far. Did that really need to take up valuable screen time?

 
 
 
Season 4, Episode 21: “Zero Sum”

“Zero Sum” is an interesting episode. There’s no Scully, limited Mulder, and Skinner is the star of the show. It’s funny, even though “Zero Sum” is an oft-forgotten episode, it’s kind of amazing how much sense its existence makes. When you watch it for the first time you think to yourself, well, what has Skinner been doing all this time with CSM and the Syndicate? Where does Skinner stand?

By giving us a Skinner-centric episode that’s much more connected with the mythology, I think we have a more successful attempt to give Skinner his time to shine – much more successful than Season 3’s “Avatar,” that is. But, even beyond giving Skinner  much-deserved time in the spotlight, this episode is something else that, truth be told, kind of annoyed me when I watched it again just now: it’s…good. 

Like, unfairly, sneakily good. Which probably indicates how often I watch it. And also makes me feel like an idiot. I, like many of you, used to give this episode the “well, I like Skinner, but Scully’s not in this one” treatment and go from “Small Potatoes” to “Elegy.” But, upon this rewatch, I found an episode that was more than worth watching. Darn it, Season 4. Stop being so good!

Of course, “Zero Sum” has flaws. I can’t let those slip by, especially the painfully terrible opening. This is one of the worst X-Files opening teasers of the season. Poorly written, poorly acted, and completely unbelievable. Jane the cigarette smoking mail worker doesn’t even see the bees until they’ve literally gathered in swarms on the inside of the bathroom stall’s door? Either those are the quietest bees in the world or Jane is both deaf and blind. In any case, the whole opening scene feels like a cheesy anti-smoking PSA gone wrong – with bees thrown in for good measure – rather than a usually gripping X-Files opening. It almost felt like watching a Season 1 dud.

After the terrible opening, though, the episode really picks up, and here we see Skinner in action. Now, Skinner’s always straddled the line, but up until now we’ve mostly seen him sticking up for Mulder and Scully in whatever way he can. We haven’t seen Skinner take a walk on the other side of the line, with CSM and his buddies. In fact, the last really memorable scene between Skinner and CSM was the highlight of the episode “Paper Clip,” when Skinner delivers one of the most in-your-face badass blows in television history. Skinner having the upper hand, however, seems to be short-lived. CSM’s got his Syndicate buddies and his sinister plans, and unfortunately Skinner’s just a piece of the puzzle.

I’m not exactly clear on which part it becomes obvious that Skinner is trying to help Mulder and Scully. I think it might be there from the beginning. You can see it in his actions that Skinner has someone’s best interests at heart. And we know, even if Mulder doesn’t, that Skinner’s not a killer. A common interpretation of Skinner’s character is that of the father figure that wants to keep his kids (Mulder and Scully) from getting into trouble, but I see him more as a big brother who tries to quietly clean up the mess before the parents find out in order to protect his younger siblings. He’s not the authority, but he’ll mess with the authority in the most discreet way possible. Skinner will take a bullet for you, even if it doesn’t endorse you all the way.

Looking at it from the outside, though, it seems like Skinner was merely hoping that Mulder wouldn’t figure him out eventually, rather than taking more steps to ensure it. I remember thinking while watching the episode, “Come on, Skinner, Mulder’s not an idiot. He’s going to figure it out.” And Mulder does, almost like clockwork. It’s one of the times I’ve actually appreciated and admired Mulder’s ultra intelligence, because it’s shown to us instead of being shoved down our throats.

Ah, and Marita Covarrubias. Every time I write about her, the sorrier for her I feel. She’s just not that interesting, unfortunately. However, in “Zero Sum” she actually did hold my attention a bit. I suppose it should come as no surprise to anyone that she’s involved with the Syndicate. Hint: practically every female character on this show (besides Scully) is. I think it works for her character, because it gives her another layer. And you’ve got to hand it to someone who can walk into a room filled with dying, smallpox infected children and look no more flustered as if a bird pooped on her car.

Speaking of which, the bee attack in the children’s playground was kind of brutal. Brutal and sad. I wonder if that was really necessary, but I suppose they needed to show that the evil government is evil. Still, that plot point doesn’t really go anywhere, and it’s a horrible thing to have to depict on screen.

I don’t know, guys. I don’t like it when Scully’s missing, either, but “Zero Sum” is really quite good. It’s not outstanding or anything, but, like so many other episodes I’ve mentioned (especially at the end of Season 4, it seems), it doesn’t deserve to be forgotten completely. Or skipped, for that matter.

Oh, and we get to see Skinner in his underwear. So there’s that.

---

Final Score

Final score for “Zero Sum” is 7/10. Much, much better than I think it’s given credit for, atrocious opening scene aside. And, under the law of the X-Philes Fandom, I’m not allowed to give any episode featuring Mulder or Skinner wearing underwear-esque clothing less than a 7. So there you have it.

---

 

Notable Nuggets

• I wonder how the underwear scene was written in the script. “And then Skinner removes his clothing, except for his cotton white Fruit-of-the-Looms.”
• Why bees? Why not mosquitoes? Who on the writing team had such a huge problem with bees?
• This episode is another great entry into the “The X-Files is actually just a giant anti-smoking PSA” line-up. Smoking kills, kids. Even if the cigarettes don’t, the bees will. No more smoke breaks.

Synchrony – Season 4, Ep 19

MULDER: Jason Nichols. Although common sense may rule out the possibility of time travel, the laws of quantum physics certainly do not. In case you forgot, that’s from your graduate thesis. (smiling at her) You were a lot more open-minded when you were a youngster.

Mulder read and memorized Scully’s thesis.

Help.

 

 
 
 
Season 4, Episode 19: “Synchrony”

“Synchrony” might be the most nonchalant take on a time travel story that exists. Maybe “nonchalant” isn’t quite the right word, but for whatever reason, this episode is very, very underwhelming. Remembering it even exists is a task for me sometimes. It doesn’t help that it comes in the last half of Season 4, where emotions are already running high.

That’s not to say the episode is bad, but it might be a good example of a topic that maybe The X-Files isn’t quite equipped to handle. Don’t get me wrong, The X-Files is an extremely versatile show that can be about almost anything, but it still has to exist within the context of the world the show is set in. This isn’t Star Trek, and we aren’t on the Enterprise. Time travel is an enormous topic, and even if you want to approach it scientifically, as this episode does, it’s still, well, enormous.

The biggest problem with “Synchrony” is that it’s so self-contained the huge implications of the events that take place feel underwhelmingly small. The episode is actually quite enjoyable (which surprised the hell out of me when I rewatched it), but it’s so…well, little that, try as I might, I’ll probably forget about it once the end of the season rolls around. For an episode so self-contained, we’re facing big problems here like people freezing to death, burning to death, time travel, and oh yeah, the impending doom of the planet. There’s just an awkward mismatch there. It’s like if the state of Delaware started screaming that the world was going to end in the next five days. Big message, little voice.

Time travel stories are always extra susceptible to flaws in logic, and this episode is no exception. For example: if the creation of this rapid freezing agent is what enabled people to be able to travel back in time, then why on earth would Old Jason use that very agent to kill? Why not use arsenic or bleach or even a gun? We are also given about .5% details concerning the world Old Jason has come from, except that it’s chaotic, without history, etc. Wouldn’t Jason be the very worst person to send back in time, since he has personal feelings for Lisa and all that? Also, how does Old Jason know it wasn’t his intervention that actually caused the future?

I could actually go on with questions like these for another paragraph, but to do so would be unnecessary and, I admit, unfair. I don’t want to give the impression that I dislike this episode – because I don’t, not at all. It’s nothing special, but I’d watch it over “Teliko” or “The Field Where I Died” any day. Mulder and Scully play pretty typical roles here – Mulder is way ahead of everyone else, as usual, and Doctor Scully does doctor stuff. They’re not really the focus of the story at all in this episode (you’ll notice that Scully’s cancer is nowhere to be seen).

There’s no reason to dismiss this episode as bad or even mediocre. But it is almost aggressively underwhelming, which I realize is oxymoronic. But so, too, is the episode itself. Such a wee little episode about such an enormous topic.

---

Final Score

Final score for “Synchrony” is 6/10. Probably deserves a 6.5, but 6 is an underwhelming score for an underwhelming episode. Plus, I’m too lazy to make 6.5 stars.

---

Notable Nuggets

• Mulder quotes Scully’s thesis from memory not once, but twice. He just needs to propose already.
• Mark Snow’s score for this episode is hauntingly beautiful. Too much so.
• Apparently, Scully thinks that phrases like “frozen fudgecicle” (from “Roland”) and “icicle” are appropriate medical terms.

 

Max – Season 4, Episode 17

SCULLY: I actually was thinking about, uh…

(She looks down at the keychain.)

This gift that you gave me for my birthday. You never got to tell me why you gave it to me or what it means… but I think I know. I think that you appreciate that there are extraordinary men and women and… extraordinary moments when history leaps forward on the backs of these individuals… that what can be imagined can be achieved… that you must dare to dream… but that there’s no substitute for perseverance and hard work… and teamwork… because no one gets there alone… and that, while we commemorate the… the greatness of these events and the individuals who achieve them, we cannot forget the sacrifice of those who make these achievements and leaps possible.

And you can bet that I’m printing out copies of this speech and distributing it among all my coworkers in retail before holiday season hits.

 
 
 
Season 4, Episode 18: “Max”

SCREW THIS EPISODE. SCREW IT AND THE ONE BEFORE IT. LET IT ROT AND DIE AND SUFFER WHILE ROTTING AND DYING.

UGHHHHHH.

Okay, okay, okay. For those of you that didn’t pick up on the ending of my last review, in which I said that there was absolutely nothing in this mythology duo that pissed me off, I hope you picked up on my sarcasm. If you didn’t, by the way, there was sarcasm.

I should also clarify. I don’t actually hate these two. I mean, they’re good. But they have one of the most soul-crushingly painful character deaths in the entire series, and it kills me every time I watch it.

Pendrell. 😦

Oh, you can laugh. You can sneer. You can roll your eyes and say, “Come on, Knife Ink, really?” Yes, really. Pendrell was a perfect little ginger gerbil and he didn’t deserve to die. Certainly not in this cruel, horrible, much-too-quick way.

More than that, Pendrell is me. And Pendrell is you. Send your judgment to the garbage disposal. There is not one person on the planet who is familiar with Scully and doesn’t have a crush on her. His fierce and adorable enthusiasm is something I have seen in every X-Phile I’ve ever met. His death was cruel and rotten and unfair. Shame on you, Chris Carter. SHAME.

Sigh. Now that we’re over that massively awful bridge, we have the rest of the episode to discuss.

Unlike some mythology episodes, this one picks up immediately where we left off, to the second. “Tempus Fugit” and “Max” are really the same episode, spliced into two. That sounds obvious, but there are some mythology two-parters where one half is definitely stronger than the other. I don’t really get that with these because it doesn’t feel like two halves, it feels like one long episode. I could probably use my crappy video editing software to take out the opening credits of “Max” and put the two together and it would work fine.

Now that I think about it, maybe the reason these two don’t have a tremendous impact on the mythology is because, well, the sinister force here is unclear. It’s either aliens or the military, something like that, but there’s no CSM, no Syndicate, and no informants. It’s just Mulder and Scully following the trail left behind by Max Fenig.

Oh – and Scully still has cancer. Just in case you forgot. I confess I really like the way they handle the cancer after “Memento Mori.” It isn’t this big emotional thing for Mulder and Scully every episode. We’re still allowed to have our typical X-Files investigations and even our major laughs, as we’ll soon see. But the cancer isn’t absent, either. It doesn’t show up at convenient dramatic moments – well, it does, but it’s always a little out of place and random. And I like that. In real life that’s exactly how it would be. You see the nosebleed, and your heart pangs with the painful reminder that your redheaded angel of science is dying. It comes when you don’t expect it to. I wish, though, that they’d been a little more creative with reminding us Scully has cancer than by just giving her the Random Nosebleed of Doom, which is basically the only symptom we’ll ever see Scully suffer. However, for the most part I like how it’s handled.

The mythology part of this episode returns to the early season formula of Mulder vs. the military. You know, I’ve just got to ask: with so many people in the military participating in this giant cover-up, zipping up little gray alien corpses in bags and everything, how is it possible that not a single person in the military has managed a big-time screw up? Like, how do they cover up everything so well? I know this episode is supposed to be about the one time the military actually did mess up, but I could never get my head around the fact that Mulder and Scully could turn up no better evidence than whatever they had at the end of this episode. There was no rambunctious little private who couldn’t keep his mouth shut about aliens to his girlfriend? Nobody’s dog found an alien body before the army came rushing in? These are nitpicks, but for what it’s worth I think Mulder and Scully would have wondered the same thing. Oh well. Let’s wrap this up.

We end with a very touching speech from Scully, which really is the highlight of these two episodes and gives them a much-needed quiet, contemplative moment. This speech is about hard work, sacrifice, and makes a nice motivational poster. I don’t mean that in a bad way necessarily.

I’m still a bit bitter.

---

Final Score

Final score for “Max” is 8/10, just like “Tempus Fugit.” Because they really are the same episode. Although I was majorly tempted to drop a star because of Pendrell. You jerks.

---

 

Notable Nuggets/Nitpicks

• What even is Pendrell’s first name? *rushes to Google* Apparently, it’s Sean. Now we know.
• Anybody catch that part where Scully turns around as Mulder’s undressing? I mean, really? He didn’t even take off his underwear. You already put him to bed in “Anasazi.”
• Max’s videos are sweet, and reminded me of how much I liked him as a character. It reminded Mulder and Scully, too, which is even sweeter.

Tempus Fugit – Season 4, Ep 17

MIKE MILLAR: And if any of the capable men and women find… Doctor Spock’s phaser or some green alien goo, we’ll be sure to give you all the credit.

DOCTOR Spock? I can’t tell if the writers were trying to make this character sound stupid or if this was a legitimate mistake. I hope with all my being it’s the former, because every Trekkie cell in my brain is groaning right now.

 
 
 
Season 4, Episode 17: “Tempus Fugit”

The mythology strikes again! Our next two episodes, “Tempus Fugit” and “Max,” are more of the traditional mytharc episodes. We don’t have the deep character exploration of “Memento Mori” in these, it’s back to things flying through the night, Mulder sneaking into places he shouldn’t, shootings, Skinner, UFOs, etc. Let’s get this party started.

Literally. We start out with Mulder very sweetly celebrating Scully’s birthday, although for me this part always leaves me feeling a bit sour because, well, Mulder’s finally celebrating Scully’s birthday (at least on screen) but Scully also has cancer and is quite probably dying. So it’s a mixed bag of emotions. Sweet scene, but I do wish Mulder and Scully could be sweet without necessarily facing disaster all the time.

The birthday celebration is soon interrupted by the plot, which comes in the form of a woman claiming to be Max Fenig’s sister. Max Fenig – the name ring a bell? Yep, he was that wacky geek Mulder and Scully met back in Season 1’s “Fallen Angel.”

I can’t speak for everyone, but I love Max as a character, and on my first watch of this episode I knew who he was immediately even though I hadn’t seen him for over three seasons. I think that’s a testament to how great his character is. It also makes these two episodes a little more melancholy than we’re used to, because (spoiler alert) Max is dead. He’s not coming back.

I always thought this was a rather unfortunate way to handle Max’s character in these episodes. We do feel the pain of Max’s absence, to be sure, and he’s a strong enough character that his death is able to leave an impact on the viewer. But I wonder what watching these episodes was like when they first aired. At that point, the last time the audience would have seen Max Fenig (assuming they’d even watched from the beginning) would be four years before. It’s easy enough for someone watching now to remember Max, as viewers today have all the episodes and are likely binge-watching, so the time between seasons is condensed. I remembered Max, but I didn’t have to wait four years.

Because of this, the effectiveness of Max’s death will probably vary depending on whom you ask, and I personally would love to know everyone’s thoughts on this – so comment below if you have any input!

But, back to the episode. Yeah, this one’s really good, guys. I wasn’t sure until I rewatched it, but there are a lot of really touching little moments that make this episode (or this pair of episodes, I should say) pretty golden in my book. They’re not really very special or tremendously important as far as the mythology goes, but there’s a lot in them that’s very well done.

For instance, I love the scene where Mulder looks at Max’s dead body. You can see how much it pains him that Max is gone. The camera then pans to a family standing around their dead family member and sobbing. This might be a bit of a stretch, but knowing how Mulder cared for Max, I like to think that this family is vocalizing the sadness Mulder feels. In a way, Mulder has lost a part of his family, a comrade that shared his beliefs about aliens, that lived his theories of aliens and abductions, that paid attention to his writing and had the same drive to find out the truth. Mulder hasn’t just lost a friend, he’s lost an ally.

And I also love Scully’s lack of energy. This is the first episode since “Memento Mori” that directly involves the cancer, and we find that it’s a thorn in our side. Scully’s tired, constantly hugging herself in the cold, and her entire demeanor seems fatigued. I like to think this was absolutely intentional, and it makes sense. It makes us sad and worried for her, as we should be.

So – I like this one, guys. And I like the following episode, “Max,” too. They are much better than I remembered and possibly the best mythology episodes of Season 4 besides “Memento Mori.” Solid, well written, well-acted. Good stuff. Nothing in here to make me mad, piss me off, or scream Chris Carter’s name in a violent fury. Absolutely nothing at all. Nope. Not one little thing.

---

Final Score

 

Final score for “Tempus Fugit” is 8/10. It’s a good episode – memorable, entertaining, and quite touching in some spots. And like I said, there’s absolutely nothing infuriating about it. Right?

---

 

Notable Nuggets (and Nitpicks)

• There are actually a lot of notable nuggets in this one. I’d like to start off by pointing out that Mulder reaches illegal heights of adorable in this one, especially during the birthday scene, and David Duchovny needs to be arrested because of it.
• Also Mulder SCUBA DIVES. This begs the question: do you think Mulder and Scully have ever gone snorkeling together?
• I find it confusing that Scully feel she has to explain Mulder’s cryptic statements to the military officers with “We’ve been traveling a long way.” At this point does she still care if people are confused by Mulder’s many oddities? I don’t think so.
• The part where Mulder pulls out his business card from Max’s body is so touching, it almost makes me choke up. And I know what you’re thinking: “Knife Ink, how do you almost choke up?” And I have no idea. But I’m trying not to admit emotions. 😉

Unrequited – Season 4, Ep 16

MULDER: Well, don’t you think it’s odd, Scully, that she’d have a blind spot that she wouldn’t, uh, that she wouldn’t have noticed before? (to security guard) Thanks.

SCULLY: Well, not necessarily. Uh, the processes of the brain fill in and the visual cortex compensates conceptually.

MULDER: Well, that might account for Teager’s vanishing.

Okay, I’m not entirely sure I understand this, but if this is the case, shouldn’t Mulder and Scully’s eyes started bleeding too? I mean they encountered Teager in much the same way Renee Davenport did. How come their eyes made it out okay?

 
 
 
Season 4, Episode 16: “Unrequited”

If you’ve been keeping up with this blog for a while, you might have realized by now that I’m not fond of military episodes. They just don’t hold that much interest for me. They tend to be political but in a watered-down manner, because this is network television and they can’t make any grandiose political statements. Nearly all of the military-themed episodes are about the exact same thing: a former soldier takes revenge on either his fellow soldiers or superior officers for horrible crimes they committed, usually during the Vietnam War. Think “Sleepless,” “The Walk,” or, though it technically isn’t a military episode but has nearly identical themes, “The List.” Many of the ideas in these episodes are practically interchangeable and the only thing that really differs is the paranormal ability.

Even the paranormal ability isn’t all that different, actually. Is there really any fundamental difference between Nathaniel Teager’s invisibility in “Unrequited” and Rappo’s astral projection in “The Walk”? What is the character distinction between Augustus Cole in “Sleepless” and Neech in “The List”? I often have trouble distinguishing these episodes from one another in my mind, and although that’s partially because I don’t really watch them often, it’s also because they’re very much the same.

Luckily, “Unrequited” is the last of this type we’ll be seeing for a good while, if I’m not mistaken. But even with that in mind, the trope here has more than overstayed its welcome. Although “Unrequited” manages to break away from the usual X-Files mold by giving us an unusual beginning and rewinding the episode back, as well as have Mulder and Scully handle the case a little differently in a sort of FBI operation style, other than that, the episode is quite boring, and there’s not much for me to talk about. I’m sure all you dedicated Philes will go through every episode on your rewatch, but to the casual viewer, I’d say skip this one.

---

Final Score

Final score for “Unrequited” is 3/10. There’s really not much in this episode that’s very good, to be honest. Even the script is lackluster. I had a really hard time finding a quote for the quote box and it was tough deciding what to even talk about. Fortunately we’re done with this type of episode, to my knowledge.

---

 

Notable Nuggets (sort of)

• Marita Covarrubias reappears to remind us that she, in fact, exists.
• I do like how Skinner straddles the fence in this episode. As usual, it’s not clear how much he buys into Mulder’s theories, but he does a good job of not leaning heavily toward either side.
• Um….what to say for a third one….nice job Mark Snow?